This ain't a Hollywood marriage

Oh the Hollywood version of marriage is so beautiful. You are beautiful people with really great hair (everyday). You love to have early morning sex and never brush your teeth because you have minty fresh breath at all times. You dress up in beautiful clothes and go on great vacations and your husband romances you with flowers, and jewelry, champagne, and expensive dinners. You have great conversations and fun dinner parties where children never interrupt you. Marriage is a beautiful thing except this version is not reality and marriage at my house is a whole lot less Hollywood and a whole lot more "Babe did you remember to empty the diaper pail today?"

But at the same time my marriage is so much more beautiful than anything Hollywood could design. It reflects the image of Christ and His Church to a world that is looking for love anywhere, anyplace. When I serve my husband lovingly and seek to make Him the best man God has created Him to be that is a great picture of love. And when He loves me as much and often times more than he loves himself, that is a beautiful thing. A good marriage, one where you mutually love and respect each other, share life with each other, fight and make up, and still love each other over piles of laundry and dirty floors is something to be celebrated.

Some days I do really well and feel like June Cleaver complete with fresh baked bread and a cute outfit. Other (most) days I feel more like Frumpy-rella, my hair isn't washed, I have no idea what is for dinner, and I'm just counting down the hours until the house is quiet and I can go to bed. How grateful I am that I am married to a man who doesn't judge me based upon my performance but upon his commitment to love, honor, and cherish me all the days of my life. And in the same way, God doesn't judge me or you based upon our performance, but upon His Promise and Covenant to love, cherish and never forsake us for all the days of our lives.

Regardless of the external circumstances, the internal love remains the same. 

I've learned that a great marriage is one that is based on mutual service not conditional responses. The "if you do this, then I'll do that" is a relationship killer.

Marriage is not 50/50. It is sometimes 100/100, or other times 90/10, or 20/80. But my service to my husband is not based upon what he has done. If I am only kind to him when he is being kind to me, then I am no better than the rest of the world. 

Luke 6:31-33, "Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that."

Even when I am not giving my best, I am not judged by my husband for being off my A-game. And the same goes for him. Somedays I give more, a lot more, to the children or the house or the family and my husband just gets to come in and simply enjoy the fruit of my hard work. Other times he gives a lot more than me, through providing for our finances and bills, and shouldering the responsibility of being our spiritual leader. And I get to enjoy the fruits of his labor. It's a pretty traditional marriage and I can't imagine life any other way. We are madly in love (after 12 years and 3 children together) and we are deeply satisfied in our relationship.

We work, we laugh, we fight, we make up, we frustrate, we forgive, we hurt, we heal, we love. 

Eat your heart out Hollywood because this is the romance you always try to achieve. This marriage is way better than the scripts and screenplays you write because this was written by the Author, Creator, and Designer of Marriage Himself. We are far from perfect people and we don't have the perfect marriage. What we do have is a spirit-filled, loving, committed, and unconditional partnership to love and serve each other no matter what and it is all because He first loved us.


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