Why Mamas Make The Best Girlfriends

As I entered into my 30's I also joined a new sorority of sisters known as motherhood. Young moms to be exact. Moms in the trenches with me. Wiping up spills, splitting time between laundry, meals, nursing, and diaper changing. Comparing weekly notes on best playgrounds and parks, fitness centers and grocery stores, pediatricians and potty training success. There is just no other network quite like the one that I have found with mamas who are at home on a daily basis with little people to care for. 

For me the bond has grown even deeper because I don't have my own family living nearby. Your mommy friends become your extended family and you call them like you would call your own mom or sister. I cannot tell you what it means to have this bond because when it's your own family you kind of expect them to help out on a moment's notice and love your kids as much as you do, but when it's a friend that does this for you then you feel true and genuine friendship. 

A lifelong commitment to helping each other out because you all are in the highs and lows and good and bad and sometimes ugly of motherhood. You realize that God placed these women in your life to remind you that we are created for relationship and we minister to each other's hearts in lots and lots of ways. Plus moms just make really cool girl friends.

  • A card in the mail from a friend who said she knew that having a new baby is so hard and she just wanted me to know that she was praying for me this week.

  • A text from a friend that says she just saw the coolest boots on sale that she knew I had been looking for and they have pair in my size (because she knows my size) and she grabbed them for me because she knew they were my style.

  • Picking up cleats for baseball season I call my girlfriend on the way because I remember her son needs some too. "I'll just grab some for you while I'm out so you don't have to make the trip. Just pay me back whenever, it's no big deal."

  • A text on a random Tuesday morning that my girlfriend made dinner for me because she made a big pot of chili last night and thought of me and figured I was tired and deserved a night off of cooking.

  • My girlfriend and I agree to a kid swap. Could you possibly take the baby with you to the gym for the morning so I can get some things done? I'll handle preschool drop off and pick up for the other kids. Sure, no problem. Done. 

  • Shopping together we buy the same skirts in different colors because it looks equally good on both of us.

  • We both need a morning out so we call a sitter, split the cost, go get our nails done and have coffee.

  • A mom at the bus stop when the bus is 20 minutes late who says, "Don't worry about it. I'll drive the kids to school." 

And most of these examples happened in the last few months. 

There have been lots of times that I have been tempted to play the comparison game and whine to the Lord that my parents don't live closer and I don't get the help from my parents that I see many of my friends get from theirs. Then the Lord reminds me of a few truths that stop me in my tracks to ask for forgiveness for ever complaining about anything. Here are some blessings:

1) Without my family living close by I have learned to rely deeply upon the Lord in times of trouble and need. I cannot tell you the times that I have been in a bind because of sickness, mixed up schedules, a husband working late, and so on. Every single time my need was provided through the strength He gave me to face it or through a friend who lived close by and was more than willing to help. I've had friends call or text me out of the blue to ask for a playdate when God knew that I most needed it. And I've found the strength from heaven alone to hang on during really really bad days when I was by myself through sheer prayer and perseverance. 

2) My husband and I have learned to rely deeply upon each other because we're a team. And because of this my husband has stepped up to the plate on more levels than I could have ever imagined. I respect him so much as the other parent and father of our children and I have total confidence in his parenting. I know without a shadow of a doubt that when I am not at home with them, he's totally confident, capable, and he's got it covered. 

3) I've developed bonds and friendships with girls that run deep because what better way to love a mom than to love her and her children. And they have been a good equalizer for me. They can help me hold my sanity together because so often I've felt like I was losing my mind or my child was the only one struggling with this phase and they've reminded me that it's okay. "You're a good mom and I've struggled with the same thing. This too shall pass."

I'll never forget the weeks after I had our third child and quite frankly I was going a little stir crazy (it was the middle of winter and I had two other high energy boys at home with me.) We decided to make a trek to the mall just to eat at the food court and let the kids play on the indoor playground. Despite my carefully planned nursing schedule and multiple trips to the potty for my almost 3-year old, I had just sat down to eat when the baby started fussing because she had an atomic diaper blowout. 

Heaven help me!

Not only was I going to have to leave my food sitting at the table but I also was going to have to get the stroller, the baby, the 3 year old (who was hungry) and myself into a tiny bathroom stall to change a diaper, do a full body wipe down, outfit change, and hand sanitizer for myself and 3 year old (who would touch everything while trying to change said baby.) 

The Lord knew that I was playing this entire scenario out in my mind because at that exact moment a friend from church walked up to me and asked how I was doing. I told her we were great (LIE!) but I was going to have to take baby to the bathroom to get changed. She said, "Here let me have her. Just give me your diaper bag and I'll take care of it. Sit here and enjoy your meal." 

I almost cried. Seriously. 

I thank God for that moment because not only did she totally take care of it without batting an eye, she did it at a moment's notice and didn't think twice of it. She is also a stay at home mom of three but her husband just happened to be with her at the mall that day. Call it divine diaper intervention but that moment spoke so much truth to my heart from the Lord. 

I care about you and your children.
I care about the little things just as much as the big things.
I know your every need even before you do. 
I created you for relationship.
I created these relationships for you.

The Lord is so good to me in the friends He has provided and I am so eternally grateful. 

Mamas rock! They make the coolest girlfriends. So take the time to invest yourself in some and be available to them when you are needed. Because I promise you, they'll be there for you when you need it most! 

Two of my sweetest friends - Carmen (left) and Wendy (right).
At the fall fair with the youngest five of our ten kids. 
Rockin' Hot Mamas!

Carmen with me in labor and delivery.
She's my fashionista! (And she loves some selfies)

And girlfriends to remind you to update your hairstyle.  


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